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  • Writer's pictureJamie Elmer

There is no going back (Summer, 2021)

Updated: Dec 10, 2022

Dear Community ,

The topic of this newsletter, there is no, “Back to normal” has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now. The writing of it hasn’t exactly flowed, so please excuse that aspect. I decided today that I simply needed to sit down, write it out, and hit send - unpolished as it may be. So, here it is.

Over the past year and a half, I kept hearing the phrase, “When things get back to normal”….When I heard this, my initial thought was, “We can’t go back to normal. Life and what is normal has forever changed”.

Life will never be like it was before Covid. That’s just life. We can’t go back. Period.

This phrase of “going back” is often used when it comes to topics like our weight and health. Getting “back” to my healthier lifestyle or getting “back” to my pre-covid weight. Last year I heard people say that they had gained 10 or 15 pounds during covid, and then talked about needing to “get back” to their pre-covid body. Even if we long for what was, or need to lose a few pounds, let’s not think of it as “going back”. If we continue to focus on what was, how things used to be, and the past, we’re stuck. Plain and simple.

This past year and a half I had some health issues (totally unrelated to covid). It was the first time in my life that my body and hormones really took over, and no matter what I did, my body changed, kept changing, and then changed some more. My strong will couldn’t do a thing about it. During covid I was actually exercising more, eating well, but my body had a mind of its own. I gained weight. I had one day where I thought, “I want to get back to (fill in the blank) pounds”. And after this thought I immediately thought “No, there is no going back". I may or may not lose this weight. This may simply be how my body is now. And, if I do shed the pounds and return to more or less what I’ve weighed for 15 years, it isn’t about going “back” to that weight, but simply about needing and wanting to be my healthiest self (And news flash/reminder, thinner isn’t always healthier!)

Throughout last year, the words embrace and accept ran through my mind frequently. Embracing new realities. Accepting new realities. In my past I struggled deeply with food issues, and to now be in a place in my life where I can accept my body changing is incredible, and I’m grateful for that. I certainly had moments where I was self conscious while filming for my streaming site. I’d go to edit a video and be surprised at how I looked. I literally would think, “Wow. Okay. That is what I look like right now”. And again, I’m thankful to be at an age and time where I can notice these changes, not get down on myself, not freak out, and simply see them as a fact. (In my past, I would have started over exercising, not eating enough, etc. - all that old shit)

So, I offer you this. Notice if you’re in the habit of thinking in a way that leads you to the past. Do you use or think phrases like, “When I get back to my pre baby weight”, or “When things get back to normal after this hectic time at work”. And, instead, try first, accepting what is (even if its uncomfortable and you don’t like it and need/want it to change), and then re-frame the thought or phrase into something that is about moving forward, like, “I’m working on being as healthy as I can be for myself this year”, or “Work is too hectic too much of the time, I need to change this somehow so that I’m not continually thrown out of balance”. First we need to embrace and accept, then think and act in ways that move us forward, not back.

I’m happy to be able to move forward with you, my community, this year. Our lives have all changed. Its time to embrace and accept these changes. I’m glad we're in this together.

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